


soft lips, starry eyes

by evantheworm



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Childhood Friends, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Time Skips, alternating pov, real name fic, teen for swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:14:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29363076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evantheworm/pseuds/evantheworm
Summary: Clay and Nick have been best friends since they were kids, they planned to be best friends forever. But Nick moved to Texas and Clay got older, and the future fell apart faster than it was dreamed. Maybe they can make do with reality.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 97





	soft lips, starry eyes

**Author's Note:**

> hello everyone i have dreamnap food for you. this fic hurt my heart to write but i am very happy with how it turned out so i hope you enjoy it.  
> a little note, i do use their real names in this fic because i feel like its a little more fitting for the tone of the fic and the pov does jump back and forth from sapnap to dream but its pretty easy to tell whose pov it is. also whenever there is a tilde that indicates a forward time skip.  
> as always thank you guys so much for reading my shit i appreciate it a lot!
> 
> Disclaimer: all of the shipping being done in this fic is with the explicit permission of the cc's. if any of them ever express discomfort or anything of the sort about these types of fics this will be taken down.

Nick laid with his head in Clay’s lap, soft fingers running through his hair. He looked up at the sky and watched the clouds slowly pass by. He shifted his gaze so that his brown eyes took in the soft pink flower sticking out in the mess of his best friend’s unruly blond hair. 

It was quiet, not a regular occurrence for the two of them, they were teenage boys after all. The only sound around was the distant honking of cars and the sway of leaves in the summer breeze. Nick liked the summer, it meant he got to escape the confines of boring classrooms and redundant homework. Now, he was free to go stumbling through the woods with Clay by his side, the two just waiting to find their next big adrenaline rush. 

Sometimes, he wished it would stay like this forever; the pink flowers in Clay’s hair and the feel of the warm sun on his skin. He wished it could be more than just a moment in time he could only revisit when his memory was sharp enough to allow.

“It’s nice out today.” Clay yawned in sleepy content.

Nick laughed quietly and intertwined his fingers with Clay’s, his eyes slid closed and he let himself exist in the calm air, in the comfort he got from his best friend’s mere presence.

“I don’t want the summer to end.” He whispered quietly.

Clay glanced down at him with a small smile on his face. “We still have plenty of time.” He yawned again, a piece of his hair falling into his face as he did. “Plus, we’re gonna be in eighth grade next year, last year of school.” 

Nick hit his foot lightly with his hand. “Last year of middle school, we still have to go through four whole years of high school.” He groaned.

“Stop being such a downer.” Clay rolled his but his smile didn’t leave his face. He picked a white daisy from a patch in the grass beside them, brushed the hair near Nick’s ear away, and slid the bright flower behind it. 

Nick opened his eyes and made eye contact with Clay, his own smile tugging at his lips. 

“High school doesn’t even matter anyways. We’re gonna be best friends forever.” Clay said, blowing air into Nick’s face and scattering his light brown hair all over his forehead.

“Hey!” Nick flicked his arm and brushed his hair to the side. He knew what Clay meant, though. No matter what happened they’d be fine, they had each other so no matter how far his grades started to slip or how loud his parents yelled, they’d make it. It was just four years.

~

It was raining, not a rare occurrence for Florida’s constantly changing weather, especially in the summer. Clay was soaked from head to toe, his jeans and gray hoodie hugging his body. Trying to catch the bus had been a bad idea, he wasn’t exactly sure why he was still standing at the stop. He had been too late, he was too late a lot it seemed. Finally, he willed himself back into motion, walking back home would only take a few minutes, no sense in wasting any more time. 

A rock went tumbling off into the grass as he started his walk. It was weird, to be out of high school, to be an adult fully responsible for himself. He really was surprised he hadn’t managed to kill himself or set his new apartment on fire yet.

The silver metal key was cold in his hand as he unlocked the front door. He slipped off his soaked shoes and socks and left them on the mat by the door. 

Once a new, clean, warm white hoodie and gray sweatpants had been adorned, Clay yawned and settled onto his couch. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, silently thanking whatever god that was listening that it didn't get damaged by the rainfall. The only messages were from George and his co-worker asking him if he wanted to pick up his shift for him. He typed out a quick 'yeah sure' to his co-worker then shut his phone off. He would answer George later, if it was important he'd call.

It wasn't that he didn't like George, because he did! They'd navigated the infuriating halls of high school together since George moved to Florida from the UK in tenth grade. _But he isn't Nick._

Clay shook his head, he was too tired to open that can of emotions right now. The ticking clock on the wall, left there by the last tenants for whatever reason they felt the shitty thing needed to stay in the shitty apartment, told him it was later than he thought. Vaguely, he wondered what time it was in Texas.

~

“Why are you here? You don’t even like coffee.”

“Fine, I just won’t visit you at work any more George.”

George groaned, “you’re a terrible friend.” 

Clay took the warm tea from George’s hand and stuck his tongue out at him. “Go flirt with Wilbur or something.”

“Okay, I’m ignoring you now, bye.”

Clay opened his mouth to poke fun at George again but a buzz in his pocket caught his attention. He grabbed his phone and paled at the sight of the number. He would recognize that number anywhere. He had stared at it for hours and hours on end, hands shaking and brain pumping with adrenaline from a hope he wouldn’t allow himself. The striped lined paper and pencil faded from the years was burned into the back of his eyelids when he closed his eyes. He would recognize that number anywhere, of course he would, it was Nick’s. 

_(490)***8236: hey dude do you have the notes from last class i missed i was sick_

“Clay, you good?”

He looked up and made contact with George’s confused but concerned eyes. He couldn’t even imagine what emotions were swimming around in his own. He didn’t know what to do. He had spent so much time thinking about this moment; thinking about when he finally got the courage to text that number, to put it in his phone and hear that voice he missed so badly on the other line. But he had always been too scared, then he was too late. So what now?

The impulsivity flowing through his veins wanted him to hit the call button. To hear that voice he hadn’t heard since he was fifteen. Rationality won out, though, the crushing anxiety keeping his wild nature in check. 

_you: who is this?_

_(490)***8236: nick_

_(490)***8236: from your programming 101 class_

Clay’s fingers shook. Who was he to assume Nick even remembered him? Just because he thought about him when everything was quiet and he couldn’t sleep and he wanted to crawl back into the safety of his childhood memories didn’t mean Nick did too. Who’s to say he even deserved remembering. I never called him. Maybe this was the universe having mercy on him.

_you: i think you have the wrong number_

He felt his heart clench and his breathing stop.

_you: i’m clay_

What was he even hoping for in the first place?

_(490)***8236: clay?_

_you: i’m sorry i never called_

Three gray dots appeared and Clay’s eyes watched their movement trying to remind himself to breathe. Suddenly, they stopped and left the screen stagnant until the bright incoming call screen sent adrenaline hurtling back through his veins at full speed. 

“I gotta go, nice to see you George.” He said, quickly making his way out of the coffee shop that seemed to have stopped all its motion around him in his Nick-induced tunnel vision. 

His finger hovered over the accept button, it felt like the entire future was resting on this call. He didn’t know why, it shouldn’t feel like that, but it did.

“Hello?” 

“Clay?” 

That voice. It was deeper than it was when they were fifteen, but it was still him. Clay felt like he could cry, from relief, from regret.

“Nick.” His voice was quiet and breathless but neither of them mentioned it. “How are you?”

There was a pause on the other end of the line. “I’ve been better.”

“I miss you.” The words slipped out before he could stop them, before he could tell himself no, before he could remind himself just how selfish those three words were.

“You never called.” Silence. “I can’t be mad though. Not at you.”

Clay knew what he meant. All the things left unsaid just in those three words. How it hurt them both. How he didn’t blame him. 

His cheeks were warm, it took him a minute to realize he was crying, he choked out a wet laugh, of course he was crying. 

“Clay?” Concern threaded Nick’s voice and Clay felt his heart clench at the sound. He was still the same, three years and he hadn’t changed. 

“Sorry.” He wiped his sleeve over his cheeks, trying to stow the salty tracks rolling down his face. “I’m so sorry I never called. Fuck, I miss you so much.” Sometimes he really wished he didn’t feel everything so much.

“You really didn’t lie, huh.”

“What?”

“Remember when you said we’d be best friends forever. For a while, I thought you lied. I guess you didn’t.”

~

Nick’s keys jingled at his side as he stood off to the side of the busy Houston airport terminal. He wasn’t nervous, not really, he and Clay talked every single day, from little good morning texts to photos of random things in their days to full fledged existential conversations at 12 am. But, he still couldn’t help the doubt that seated itself in the back of his mind. He hadn’t seen Clay since they were fifteen. Now they were nineteen, full fucking legal adults. He wondered what it would be like to see Clay’s bright contagious smile right in front of him again. 

His phone buzzed and nervous excitement filled his body. Clay’s flight had landed and he was heading to get his luggage. Of all the ways he had dreamed of seeing his best friend again after all of those years this one didn’t make the list. It was funny how reality worked like that. 

“Nick?” He jumped and whirled around, eyes finding cool green ones that had burned themselves into Nick’s everything. 

He smiled. “Clay.” He was a lot taller now. Nick’s head rested at Clay’s shoulder when he dropped his bags on the floor and they fell into each other's arms with the weight of three years apart lifting, just slightly, off their shoulders. 

They stood there, far longer than they probably should have, but neither of them really wanted to let go. The threat that all of this could still just be a dream. That Nick would open his eyes to a faded popcorn ceiling and roll over to look at his phone and see he was late for class again. But he didn’t, and it was real. Clay’s soft smile that hadn’t aged at all and blond hair that desperately needed a haircut. It was all real. 

The door to Nick’s apartment creaked opened, and he flicked on the lights. The light was dull but it lit up the dark place. The only other light was from the slowly setting sun peaking through the curtains over the single window in the living room. 

“Sorry everything’s kind of messy right now, I tried to clean up a bit.”

Clay wasn’t paying attention to what he was saying, though, a small smile was on his face and his eyes were racking over the space. “No, it’s perfect.” 

Little objects, small pieces of Nick that revealed his interests and parts of his personality laid around. Hoodies that he grabbed on his way out the door, hanging over the back of the couch. He figured that’s what Clay meant, not the slowly rotting floors and half-working appliances. He felt it too. The familiarity of seeing the picture of Clay and his little sister on his lockscreen. The tennis shoes that looked like they had seen the dinosaur age. It was all a part of his best friend. He liked the little details about people. 

He remembered so many things about Clay. The way he never shied away from a challenge. The way, if he had a goal, he wouldn’t stop until he accomplished it. The way he wouldn’t hesitate to kill someone if they hurt his friends. The way, when he let it, his face showed all of the emotions he was feeling. The way his smile lit up an entire room. The way his eyes shined when something he liked captured all of his attention. 

Nick looked up at Clay, who was still surveying the apartment, eyes widened slightly; and for a moment, everything was still and perfect. Then Nick realized he was staring and looked down clearing his throat, hoping the redness in his cheeks would disappear at the mental dismissal of it. 

"Uh, are you hungry or anything? I can order pizza." 

"Oh, uh, yeah sure. Pizza sounds good." 

After they settled into their newfound space around each other, it was as if minutes and miles and hours never even separated them in the first place.

"Here." Nick tossed a paper plate at Clay. "It's easier than washing dishes." 

Clay laughed. "Unfortunately, you're right." 

"What do you mean unfortunately?” 

“Obviously, I’m more right than you, most of the time.”

Nick smirked at him. “Most of the time.” He mocked.

The laugh that escaped from Clay’s lips made Nick feel like he was floating. Riding on the light, carefreeness of it all. The smile that lingered after felt like Nick’s own personal sun, basking in all of its glory. 

Clay reached around Nick and put two pieces of pizza on his flimsy plate. “C’mon idiot, the pizza’s gonna get cold.”

Eventually, the sun had set, and the paper plates were forgotten on the small wooden coffee table, and the TV glowed with nothing worthy of attention, and two boys with racing minds sat across from each other on Nick’s shitty couch. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable, it never was, not with them. But Nick knew they both had so many things to say, neither one quite knowing how to say it, though. 

“You know I’m not mad at you, right?” Nick blurted out before he could think about stopping himself. 

Clay looked up, eyes swirling with complicated emotion. “I know. I think I’m more mad at myself than you are at me.” He laughed quietly, trying to dispel the light tension hanging in the air. 

Nick scooted closer to him and nudged his shoulder with his own. “It’s not your fault I moved halfway across the country in the middle of our freshman year.”

Unwarranted tears streamed down Clay’s face and he rubbed them away with the back of his hand. “I know, but I could’ve called you. I wanted to, so many fucking times. I don’t know why I didn’t. I wanted to make sure you were okay. I promised you we’d make it through this together and then we didn’t.”

Nick wiped some of Clay’s tears away with the edge of his hoodie sleeve, tilting Clay’s head so he could see the regret and relief shining with the tears in those green eyes. “You can’t fix everything all the time.” 

Clay laughed again, the sound choked up on his tears. He leaned into Nick’s touch, both of them finding comfort in what they couldn’t have for so long. The distance and years finally coming together with Nick’s fingers on Clay’s cheek. 

“Guess nothing much has changed,” Clay sniffled. “Still crying too much.” 

Nick’s quiet laugh held a fondness that was only partly rooted in the aching nostalgia flowing over both of them. “You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t.”

Clay shifted and settled his head on Nick’s shoulder. “Remember when we used to watch movies like this.”

Nick smiled. “Yeah. You would always cry at the end of the sad ones, too.”

“Hey!” Clay flicked his shoulder lightly. “I’m just an overly emotional person sometimes.”

“At least you’re not George.” 

Clay chuckled. “What’s wrong with George?” 

Over the time that their friendship was—less of rekindling, more just, picking up where it left off, Nick had the great pleasure of talking with Clay’s friend George. They liked each other well enough. The guy was funny when he wanted to be, but he lacked a certain emotional vulnerability that always had a way of attracting him back into Clay’s orbit. 

“Nothing.” He’s just not you. “He’s just different. Why? Do you like Georgie, Clay?” 

Another recent development, they had discovered they were both raging disaster bisexuals. Nick, finally, got to use all the teasing he missed out on in those empty years. Well, he would, if it didn’t sting a little and leave a bad taste after the words left his mouth. 

“No!” Clay’s laugh made Nick’s heart beat just a little bit faster, maybe he never noticed because it always did that. “George and Wilbur are head over heels for each other anyways, just gotta pull their heads out of their asses and do something about it.”

“I know the feeling.” Nick said under his breath. 

Clay’s eyes widened slightly in interest, but there was something else there, a feeling Nick couldn’t quite put his finger on. “Oh? Does Nick have a crush on someone?” 

“Oh, no, no.” He shook his head.

Clay looked at him with overexaggerated disbelief, but he swore he saw disappointment flash in those green eyes.

Nick scoffed. “It doesn’t even matter.”

“Oh c’mon.” Clay lifted his head and moved so he and Nick were facing each other. “It’s been five years, you haven’t fallen in love with anyone at all?”

What Nick and Clay failed to consider was that maybe Nick had been in love with him the whole time. And maybe Clay had too. Nick didn’t want to talk about this anymore. 

“Hey c’mon.” He grabbed Clay’s hand. “The one good thing about this shit place, is that the view from the room is amazing.” 

He pulled them off the couch, and they stopped, quickly slipping on their shoes and hoodies to protect them from the slowly cooling fall wind. Nick dragged Clay up the two sets of dingy stairs and their footsteps echoed against the walls of the stairwell. He pushed open the door that was always propped open with a pencil. The small sliver of light from the stairwell was the only source of it on the otherwise dark roof. 

The light pollution from the city was still too great to see all of the stars, but Clay could pick out a few, twinkling against the black sky. Nick led the way over to the edge of the roof and smiled as he watched Clay take it all in. Nick had come up here plenty of times himself, the feeling of the wind and sounds of the city calming him down whenever life became too much to bear. The view of the city wasn’t new to him, but the way Clay’s eyes shined, reflecting wonder and the lights glowing from the city, that was new, and it was beautiful. 

“You’re staring.”

Nick startled out of his thoughts and met Clay’s eyes, now on him, a small, endeared smile gracing Clay’s lips. His hand reached out and brushed a piece of hair out of Nick’s face that had fallen there with the wind. 

Everything seemed to stop, leaving them, just them, reveling in each other’s presence. Clay admiring the way the lights washed Nick’s dark brown hair in reflective color. And Nick, finding himself wondering what Clay’s lips would feel like on his. 

Clay took a step closer to him, his hand still lingering on Nick’s face. “Are you gonna keep staring at my lips or are you gonna kiss me?” He whispered.

“Do you want me to kiss you?” Nick moved forward, so their faces were inches apart, eyes drifting back and forth from the hope on Clay’s eyes to the small part between his lips.

“I have since the day you left.” 

Nick closed the gap between them, Clay’s lips were warm and perfect and everything he would ever want or need, and he wondered how he ever lived one day without the blond by his side. They pulled away, the want to feel that, simultaneously, explosive and soft feeling forever, beaten out by the biological need for air. Clay rested his head on Nick’s, planting a small kiss on his forehead.

“Okay, maybe I have fallen in love with someone.” He admitted to the small space between them. 

Nick could hear the smile in Clay’s voice before he even spoke. “Yeah, me too.”

~

Clay yawned. He was warm, but not the bad, oppressive, sweaty Florida heat kind of warm. It was the warm that felt like home. His head on Nick's shoulder, Nick's arms wrapped around him, Patches curled up in his lap.

He was hit by the sudden thought that he wanted this forever. This was true contentment. It had taken so much and so long to get here, but they had. By some miracle, they had.

"I can hear you thinking." Nick's hand played with the hair at the nape of his neck. 

"I am." He smiled up at Nick. "It's good thinking." 

"This is nice." Nick responded quietly. They had always been a little in sync; their thoughts bouncing off each other without even needing to speak. 

"Yeah." 

A soft quietness overtook them. For once they weren't plagued by the thoughts that this was temporary; that one of them would have to stand in a busy airport terminal and hold the pieces of their cracking heart together while the other walked away, knowing that if they looked back they wouldn't be able to leave. 

Instead, Nick's shit laid in various states of unpacked around the house. It wasn't huge, but it wasn't two shitty apartments with 900 miles of distance between them. It was enough. 

Clay intertwined their hands, rubbing small circles on the back of Nick's hand with his thumb. They both turned their attention back to the movie giving ambience to their quiet living room. 

Clay smiled softly, again. It wasn't perfect, but it was good. It was more than either of them could ever have imagined laying in the heat of the summer all those years ago.


End file.
